Have you ever got something you want to share on IRC or instant messenger – but don’t because you hate taking a screenshot, uploading to imageshack, then posting the url? Happens to me all the time. I hate it. I hate waiting on Imageshack to resize the image. Hate.

Well, along comes IoJ.com. This is literally the best application I have ever used. As a disclaimer, I do not own this application, nor do I know anyone associated with it. I had another Affiliate Marketer tell me about it — all I can say is this — LIFE CHANGING.

Basically you go to ioj.com and pick if you want the PC or Mac version, then download. You install it. After you install it, you get a little toolbar at the bottom. Looks something like this:

You right click on the IOJ icon, go to ‘Take Screenshot’, select what area you want to screenshot (you can do the whole screen), and wait about 2 seconds. The file will automatically be uploaded in JPG format (I think you can adjust this if you want) and you hit the ‘Copy & Close’ button. Then, CTRL-V to the nearest IRC window or Instant Messenger screen – BLAM – Screenshot in like 4 seconds.

Snaggit sucks compared to this tool – Its slow, feels bloated, etc. This thing is legit. Enjoy my friends.

Why am I not listed on fucking affbuzz.com? This is fucking bullshit. Who owns this site? Whoever it is – I’m going to send a leper over to their house if I don’t get some link juice from that site. Someone, help me….

Wow, have I been gone that long? Nah, just a bunch of dirty little spammers – thats all…

My flight takes off at 9:45 tommorrow. Looking forward to meeting you gangstas at Affiliate Summit West. If you wanna get a hold of me, meet up, grab lunch, grab a drink, etc – I suggest the following:

Add me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/deStone

Email me.

Comment me.

Find me on IRC.

I’m going to be updating the agenda and listing my ’schedule’ of events i’m attending soon. Check back.

Daily I find myself doing things that six months ago I would never have thought about doing. This post is one of those things, indeed. Yes, friends, I come to you to share a link, a link to the almighty uberaffiliate.

Why am I writing this in response to his “Lessons” post? Well, first off he promised a backlink and has way more RSS readers than me. So I suppose that makes me a sell out, fuck that. I’m a money man and sometimes you gotta sell your soul for a backlink or two…

Over the last month, you’ve probably been watching uberaffiliate fall to his knees, … a failed, desperate, crushed man — much like I have. He profited around $180 bucks last month – a testimony to the size of his testicles for posting that in my opinion. Never the less, we can blame his horrid ex-girlfriend, his failed campaigns for ‘chat’, and a few bad acai media buys….

Since i’m feeling a change of heart, i’m going to quit slapping the guy around abit and I am going to pick him up and share some of my “life lessons” — proving that even dickheads like me still have a bit of a heart in them.

So, in my 28 years of experience at life, what can I share with you dorks?

First off, the 40 hour work week is slavery. Not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but I’ll tell you this — if the Good Lord blessed you with that gift, do NOT try and be a wage-slave. I’ve been there, done that — every day is like having penguins peck the flesh off your cock. Avoid wage slavery.

Debt is for dumbasses. When I graduated college and got my first real big job making decent money I bought a corvette, a boat, a house, a truck, and partied like a rockstar. I never got into credit card debt, but thank god for that. I’ve pretty much sold it all and am feeling a bit better about my position in life. Only by things you can afford, in cash. Read Dave Ramsey to help further perpetuate this lifestyle.

Love everyone but Trust No One – Everyone has an agenda. You + God are the only people you can fully-100%-trust. Try to find and marry someone you trust somewhat. Chances are, they aren’t going to be perfect, but … hell, so far I’ve lucked out — maybe you will too. Our boy uber is pretty tore up about that girl … it’s okay, I thought she had big teeth anyways. Paul, you can find a better lookin’ chick out there that’ll love you for the big gay gooberaffiliate you are (kidding…)

Read fantastic books – Dave Ramsey, How to Get Rich (Felix Dennis), The Holy Bible (New Testament), 4 Hour Work Week.

Avoid bad wage slave books – “The On-Time, On-Target Manager”, Jack Welch, he will suck you into the corporate mindset.

Wear a tie to church, funerals, and formals – Sweatpants to everything else.

Go to the gym. Daily. Its your only body, take care of it.

Daily ask yourself, “Am I weird?” — if you think that you are — well, try to stop. I realized that playing magic cards and collecting comic books wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go — SO I changed, you can too – now toss the copy of gen-13 in your bathroom.

Get a hot wife that loves you and that you love. Sometimes you’ll lose 4k in Adwords in a day and she will make you smile.

People say if it Fly, Floats, or F*cks, rent it. I say F*ck that. Buy that boat, get a hot wife, and make fun of poor people that aren’t as motivated as you (while avoiding debt). They will talk, but who cares – when your bikini honey mama is dancing to Two Short on the back of that badass boat, you can smile and think how much money and gas your burnin. They are the ones working in a 9-to-5 40-hour hellhole every day and can’t afford anything more than a kia sportage.

Love dogs, but dont own one, or hell, two of them. They piss on everything, chew up xbox headsets, and cost $250+ to board for a week if you go on a trip.

Don’t put CEO or President on your business card if your 13 to 18 years old. You. Just. Look. Retarded. You can’t be the CEO until you have at least 10 employees, even then your just a president in my mind.

Join a fraternity – Best 4.5 years in my life. Totally wasted, but worth the memories in the long run.

Go to College at a real college – That sh*t hole Community College is filled with the most absolutely retarded dental assistants you’ll ever meet. Live at least an hour from home.

Move away from home, but move back eventually – cause family is really important.

Don’t make fun of people from Kentucky

Make fun of people from New Jersey – They really are mutants.

Dry Erase boards make you feel corporate, successful, young and trendy — and it really proves you’re just a douche bag who likes to make lists.

Setup a hosts file so that you can’t go to MakeMoniesOnline.com, unless your into that shit during your breaks from wickedfire.

Punch a grammar policeman in the face – it feels good every so often.

Eat Candy Corn, that shit is mighty tasty.

Avoid Hot Pockets – You will get Zero play in the Bahamas, trust me.

That’s all – I cant think of anything else to really share this moment. Sorry if this blog post was a little too emo for you.

The question on everyone’s mind as of late — Are you going to be attending Affiliate Summit West in Las Vegas, NV? If not, you might as well stop building websites, accept wage-slavery, and give up in your quest to become a serious affiliate marketer. Seriously. Last year, my friend Nickycakes and I were building respectable blogs that the community was just starting to follow. I, personally, did not value the idea of spending time with other affiliates – honestly, I was concerned that someone would try to get me drunk and steal my ideas — so I chose to not go. Nickycakes, however, attended. While we have both become successful on different levels, it is obvious that making the connections at ASW really launched his career into overdrive. He met up with the Advaliant team, started slinging offers through neverblue using facebook — Hell, look at him; he is the posterboy for CPA-based affiliate marketing. No envy here – High five cakes, high five!

Why do I tell you this story? I have no problem admitting when I am wrong — and I was completely, absolutely, retardantly… wrong. I have been doing everything I can to meet the “movers” and “shakers” of the industry through online venues – but having had a real life conversation has given others a serious advantage over me, especially when getting access to exclusive offers.

So, I have suffered nearly 365 days! Finally, I am getting to attend my first Affiliate Summit conference. I even got myself a sweet platinum pass, courtesy of the Affiliate Summit Team (thanks Amy) – so I am going to attend all of the seminars and hopefully share my thoughts via the blog during the trip.

So, now, I toss it back to you — What’s stopping you from going? Is it the cost of the rooms? How about the airfare? Maybe the price of the passes scares you. Look, I will guarantee you that you will get more than $10,000 dollars worth of information out of this event. Why? Well, I will be there — and if you look me up, I’ll be glad to talk shop with you! There is going to be a posse of wickedfire characters there. Ryan Eagle is going to show up. Shit, Shitmonkey, er shoemoney is even planning on going!

So – for the excuses … let me offer you some solutions.

The Hotel Room – Gold Coast all the way. I am taking my hottie wife and staying in a premium room for a grand total of $160 bucks. Its a fair deal, for real. I think I get like $40 or $60 bucks worth of gambling change and food vouchers to work with as well.

The airefare – Ok, look, just book southwest – they are cheap, funny, and a good airline for economy flying. Look on craigslist, people are always selling rapid reward points for cash – you can get a cheap flight. I think I am spending a lil over $150 bucks for my airfare, but I booked early.

Conference Passes – Now, While i’m not as cool as some other bloggers handing out free press passes (check out ppc.bz – ask the barman, he can hook you up, I think he’s got like 40 free passes) — I do have a few options to help pay for it.

First off, use my code to get 10% off of any pass you buy:

ASW09DESTONE10
10% off silver, gold or platinum passes

Or if you have zero interest in watching me personally Rick-Rolling nickycakes panel, you can get a silver pass for a bit cheaper.
ASW09SLASH100
$100 off of a silver pass

Conclusion

Buy a pass, go.

Party like a rockstar, meet other affiliates, learn.

Call me, I’ll bail you out of jail — unless you “pedobear” a 15 year old that was in the skittles thread, … you’ll need to call aojon to help you with that.

I’m going to try and get some crap made up promoting this gay blog – if you want to tell everyone that deStone sucks via tshirt or ballcap or something else – Comment me. Feel free to give me some ideas, i’m pretty much down with whatever.

Update: ASW 09 Speaker Listings – http://www.affiliatesummit.com/09w_speakers.php

Aojon = pissed. Suprised?

aojon runs into channel #cake, inscribing:
aojon – Smaxor: Why the fuck did you try and hire Stanley away from WickedFire to work for you?
aojon – Taking Stanley away from WickedFire and to position him at A4D?

A bit later, aojon removes himself from the channel in a stew. Smaxor was not available for reaction.

What’s more electrocuting than this non-story is that Wickedfire forums actually has an province and an absolute saturated-time employee. Who would have thought it’d take some achievement to run the roomiest homosexual affiliate gathering on the planet?

UPDATE

[18:28] I didn’t recruit stanley
[18:28] stanley came to me

You stay dashing San Diego.

It is only fair that the current Internet Phenom pave the way for the next big thing on the internet — Turd Texting.

F*ck LOLCats, who wants to look at a bunch of silly kittens with goofy sayings on them all day? Why not step up to the plate and share a bold message with your close and personal friends!

Enter the world of turd-texting! With the advent of the camera phones, all kinds of great things have happened to society – but none greater than dropping a big ole turd in your office toilet bowl and passing along awe-inspiring journalistic pictures of it to your closest friends in hopes of watching them squirm in disgust! It all started with one innocent mms message — now I cant open my own email without fear of a random deuce-deuce attachment.

Stop what your doing right now, drop a Cleveland brown, and send that sweet chocolate log to your best friend from college. Imagine how perfectly surprised he will be when he opens up your multimedia text message:

Dear Nickycakes,
Was thinking about you — <3 u man

The secret is to create the most vial and graphic photo of a nasty shit (nashity as I prefer to call them) and totally suprise the eff out of someone.

So, who wants to give me their cellphone number?

I’ve gotten a lot of emails from people just wanting to make a few extra bucks a month. Not everyone is looking for a crazy affiliate-driven lifestyle changeover, most just want to supplement their income. So, I’m going to tell each of you how to make an extra $1000 dollars a month using a credit card, a lil time, and maybe a drop or two of gasoline.

First off, this works best if you live in a city or area large enough to have a craigslist ‘city’ nearby.

Go to eBay, login, search “xbox 360 wholesale” … scroll down a bit, there are tons of “Lots” of xbox 360’s for sale. Buy a “lot” of them.

Yes, half of them are going to be RROD (red ring of death) – but guess what kids, Microsoft will repair them all, for free! When you receive your 8 xboxes, immediately plug them in. Hope you have one or two that work out of the box. Some will RROD – put them in a stack. Once you get all the ones that are broke, call the 1-800-4MY-XBOX. Tell them you bought a LOT of them, that some of them are messed up, and you want them repaired under the extended warranty. Tell them you’ve followed all the steps, know that they are RROD and that you dont want to bullshit with troubleshooting them – tell them you just want the box mailed to your house.

They will mail you a box for each system (takes like 3 days) and you package up each of the systems. Send them away! About two weeks later, your going to get a refurbished xbox!

Now, while we are waiting on the bad ones to come back, lets put the working ones on craigslist. Look at what people are charging for an xbox 360, and sell them for $25 dollars less than your competitors. Every xbox i posted got 3 to 5 responses – be sure to list that it DOES or DOES NOT have the HDMI cause that gets really annoying after a 1000 emails asking about it.

Sell each xbox for profit (whatever you can get) — be careful if you have to drive to someones house — Craigslist people can be a tad bit creepy.

When the new refurbished ones come back to you, put them on craigslist too.

After its all said an done, you’ve probably made $70 to $100 on each of them. Easy money, and floated on credit!

If you want to make money, you just got to hustle for it a little bit!

If your not reading ppc.bz, you’re stupid. Plain and simple.

Yes, look past the juvenile antics and borderline retarded comics and you have some serious information about how to be successful in the PPC scene.

I’m speaking in all seriousness, follow this quick guide to ppc success.

In the words of biggie – “This is what topspinners do, while topspinners aren’t spinning dem things.”